im watching my roommate bang this girl. she doesn't look like she's any good, because he has a bored look on his face...
no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
If I've learned one thing today? Blow jobs get you to state championships.
Alright. Who did it? Who's bangin' the ump?
Sadness tears and throw up everywhere
I wanna get freshman fucked up and do shady things on the last Friday of my youth.
I was trying to fart in my sleep in the hopes that he would leave
what the hell is that chicken wire thing she's holding?
An artistic expression of her stupidity.
I woke up last night a kitchen floor with my shirt off and I love America written on my leg in eye liner
Don't be alarmed by all the Dick cakes in the fridge. But please don't eat..i accidentally broke one in half you guys can eat that one. Its labeled free Dick
thanks again for a nice night (and please don't fuck my boss)
So the next time I call you and say I'm going to my first strip club because it's christmas eve eve, and have work the next morning, I'd appreciate you stopping me
I'm drinking coffee out of a pasta sauce jar and eating fruit soaked in Smirnoff. I think I've hit rock bottom.
During my first week as an adjunct prof, I played a fiercely fought game of squash with a law student and we wound up having hot, sweaty, angry sex right on the floor of the court. She is either the best or worst thing to happen to my academic career. Will let you know.
that guy was staring at your tits.
nah, more like they were staring at him, and his girlfriend, and her less than adequate bosom. they pitied the fool.
point taken, oh mistress of the bosoms.
WAIT this kid is eating yogurt with a fucking ladle. what is happening?
Randomize
