hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.
i've been throwing up a lot lately. my guess is hangover but who knows morning sickness is always an option
we fucked while he was on the clock. He didnt even take off his bullet proof vest. Dont tell me thats not bad ass.
I briefly wondered why they weren't in school, but after the tinier one shouted "check out dem titties!" I had my answer
Do you think we're allowed to sign male strippers into the building with a valid id?
I apparently texted him "since you're taking time out to think about us. You probably need to think about me getting arrested right now."
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
Malt liquor mondays...better in theory.
I hope you realize that its not me making that decision, but rather the combination of my genitals and sexual orientation
There is booty call etiquette, and he just isn't following it. I'm not making you breakfast, gtfo.
I drew a giraffe.. But she did say that bumped that test up from a 39 to a 40. It's the little things.
OH FOR FUCKS SAKE! SOMEONE TOOK ME FOR A GODDAMN PROSTITUTE!! IM WEARING LEG WARMERS!!! THAT IS LIKE THE LEAST HOOKERISH THING TO WEAR!
woke up to a family dragging me under their beach umbrella, they poured water on me bc they "thought I was dead" then fed me quesadillas and nursed me back to health... gotta love Cabo
I'm more worried that you thought licking a pole on Bourbon street would turn me on
I'm in my math teacher's garage hiding right now because I fucked his son last night. It's fine
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