we're taking shots every time my dog licks his penis. we're on number 8 now.
you should have been aborted.
dude can i febreze my hair or is that slutty?
sorry for throwing an entire water bottle of vodka at you. It was very wasteful
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
I thought I walked in on an orgy of smurfs. Man I love shrooms
also found a pic of my head in the microwave from the other night.. hmm
In a shocking revelation, I learned that the Easter Sunday shit show happened not because of vodka but because my gay neighbor drugged me.
Which one of you fuckers thought itd be funny to see if the kitchen table can float.
My teacher just let our class out 30 minutes early, its a 50 minute class. He said the only thing we had to do was get fucked up tonight and have stories about it on Monday.
We were debating whether you had hooked up with him. I was right for the record.
All I know is I was bleeding, she was bleeding, we stole someone's Lucky Charms, and then I made you guys order a pizza
So much Jack, so little girl.
he couldn't get a boner so he asked me to sing you shook me all night long to his penis. I think it was weirder that it actually worked
Putting a bow on your dick doesn't make it a real present
You think the guy at the speed wash knows he needs to scrub the vomit off the side of my car?
He knew.
Randomize
