she came over and started getting naked and said its not like i came over to just hang out
youve hit the jackpot
Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
She's the only person who can pull off turning an outdoor patio heater tower into a stripper pole.
I don't think he understands the importance of corndogs. Or condoms for that matter.
Just thought you should know that your brother tried to febreeze his floors with cooking spray last night.
You're just jealous because you lost me and I ended up at another party licking Marshmallow Fluff bikinis off of lesbians.
I'm in charge of his party but you're a paramedic, we're both needed.
She left her panties here. They looked SOOO much smaller last night.
I would say I miss her friendship, then I remember that she gave 4 guys the clap. I'm good.
I found my grandmother's vibrator, how was your day?
dude his girlfriend left the meanest shit just marinating in our toilet. I'm gonna have to snap chat this out, theres no other option. prepare yourself
Yeah, sorry about that. Dropped the phone on my face while I was watching porn.
Science requires me to take a picture of your nipples.
I cant miss out on a half day of work without a booty call
Lol. I liked you the most when we were banging random girls and trying to tag team everything. You were happier then.
Randomize