Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
I havent dry-humped that much since freshmen year. Forgot how good it doesnt feel.
i was gonna fuck her but then she started eatin sushi from her purse. i really need to raise my standards
He told his ice cream cone it 'looked cute' and then started to cry. The Dairy Queen people were not pleased.
You know our reunion in two weeks shall be a drunken bikini clad magical adventure right
apparently I stole your wolf lighter. probably bc you made me howl while you puked over your deck railing.
Just when I decided to go get a taco and a blunt cake it starts raining. Coincidence? or divine intervention?
I ripped off the screen and literally supermaned through my bedroom window. That wasted
sex on a trampoline, in the rain, on ecstasy, just thought you should know.
I dont know if hes kidding... but hes drunk and said hes going to shave his balls. Alert your emt friends
Mmm vodka always tastes better when i know i have work at 8am
i feel like if my pee,blood, or vomit is on it...it should belong to me by default. can we make that a rule?
I just got a rock from a customer. Weirdest. Tip. Ever.
Only you would try street racing in a Volvo.
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