You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
So ps i'm not pregnant with any athletes illegitimate children : )
i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
she bought me drinks at the bar, made me pizza at her place, gave me head, and then drove me home...i think i might propose
You have to come over we all bought drinking hats. Mine has a turtle on it. Side note: somehow someone got their hands on 50 candied apples and we need to eat them...
I need the number of a restaurant that delivers, has lock-picking abilities, and is okay with full frontal male nudity. Entirely too hungover to get out of bed.
What I love about college? The kid tripping balls has a kayak made readily available to him on any given Wednesday, Saturday, or Sunday.
Wheres my essay?
You mean the vodka drenched shreds of paper taped all over the walls of the hallway?
it was a frathouse cornucopia of foul mixed drinks and "sangria", which im convinced was blood and pcp
Made him watch 4 hours of HGTV then told him I was too tired for sex.
Savage
he asked if he should bring the trash can into the room.. apparently i shoved my finger all over his face and said.. shhhh dont talk... just take your pants off.
Whatever you wanna call it i just wanna get railed tonight
Sometimes you gotta do what you gotta do... and then you need to delete the history so you're girlfriend doesn't see it.
Gotta go, there’s a chick at my door that wants to give me head
Randomize
