Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
It has come to my attention that I should apologize for myself and my friends
My breakfast consisted of a slimfast and an adderal. My fridge is like an insecurity buffet.
So many tools at one table, you'd enjoy my italian family
You do realize that we got a stripper to do the YMCA for us on the main stage... Right?
Your lack of great college experience of margaritas and foam parties scares me
I JUST MET THE GIANT MAN THAT WILL CARRY ME FROM PLACE TO PLACE
Fun new game when high: sorting socks. Took forever. Was awesome.
Don't feel bad, we're professionals and we just housed burgers in burger king singing I believe I can fly
and i do believe that will be the last time you send me a photograph of our mother in her underwear.
He said he could outsmoke me so I challenged him to a weed duel. I don't always very competitive but when I do...
It's like the dark age of my sex life being stuck here
Can you send me the pic of me puking with a quesadilla on my shoulder
He was going down on me and all I could think about was how proud of me you'd be
Is it bad that I tried to build an outfit based around "What do people who use condoms look like when they buy condoms?"
Randomize