I'm at his house. He has VELCRO shoes. I'm too desperate to leave...I may need help in thee life dept
CANT TOUCH THIS JUST CAME ON MY IPOD. LOVE STEVE JOBS
hey tell your friend im sorry for licking his mouth, that was probably inappropriate
I know I should be focused on nurturing their bright little minds but it's 10 a.m. and I need a cock in my mouth
And with me just getting pulled over and you maxing your card out on tennis balls I don't know if we can afford it
Can u check his last FB check in, then come pick me up from there. Blame it on the tequila
I already banned bobbing for apples. While drunk that's just drowning near fruit.
The cops said we could pay $250 or spend the night in jail and get 2 free meals. I might pee in mail-boxes more often
I know you hold the fastest time for "zoo downhill wheelchair racing" but I don't see what that has to do with this.
Scary truckers and hobos. These are the men I attract
Woke up the day after the party with a bruise on my stomach. Pretty sure my liver was trying to escape for fear of it's life.
the last thing I remember is taking a pull of ever clear and chasing it with vodka
He showed up at 1:10AM covered in mud and vomit, wearing a headband that said victory in Japanese. I WANT PICS.
How much weed should I buy my mom for her birthday?
I never knew it was coming. He was cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, and then BAM! Best hookup ever.
Randomize
