you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
I’m once again drinking at eight am on a Sunday in my tutu. This garment is literally my best purchase ever.
its like an ocean threw up right in your lap
I was just tapping my foot in the bathroom at Penn Station just PRAYING for anonymous sex. You know how that goes.
Come over? It's my birthday
How many times has that text failed you tonight?
plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
she kept checking the clock when she was giving me head and at midnight she said she had to stop because she cant eat meat on fridays is that bitch serious
My entire floor is waiting for the couple to come out of the shower. She's a screamer. We've blockaded them
then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
Meeting his dad and brother for the first time at the jail while I'm bailing him out ISN'T exactly how I pictured this relationship going....
its ok, the prom king gave me his crown to puke in
I've never seen an uncircumcised dick in real life and the internet indicates I don't want to.
Talk about an dramatic entrance, girl rolled up on a stolen bike and was wearing heels and a dress, through it on the ground and said "you guys want a bike?" Of course i jumped on that shit, any sane person would!
So "I hate myself Mondays" has extended to Tuesday this week. I just had peanut butter and a glass of wine for lunch.
Randomize
