We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
come over, blizzard of oz party. dress up.
well... just scaled a wall and entered the bar through the balcony. just making some last minute memories nbd.
Let's get one thing straight; we aren't in a relationship. We fuck and occasionally go to subway.
Can I just say that you're probably one of my favorite people to have sex with and then eat hummus with at 3:45am?
No more stories ab the wkend for co-workers... No one else found "and I didn't have pants on when I got home Saturday night" as funny as I did.
It was rough. I have dried puke in my hair and I don't know if it's mine or from the girl I met on the ground waiting for a cab.
I think I'm leaving the streamers and balloons up from 4th of july till after he stops by. It'll be like the universe is celebrating his massive dick.
Well, maybe we can talk about it over a drink and some crushed up vicodin.
Netflix, eggnog, and bed? Maybe some hand stuff?
your phone died, so you started bawling in the bar
yeah that sounds like me
the only things my left hand does: catch/hold things and masturbation.
Also I just had a pointless meeting and the only thing I accomplished were my kegals
Remind me to tell you about this weekend with them. It was the least fun I have ever had drinking. And I have thrown up pork and beer through my nose on the side of the freeway.
All time low: no dry towels so I'm using the sex towel to dry off
Randomize
