Its way too early to be sitting naked at his dining room table...
grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
now I regret adding my aunt on facebook. she remnded me today on my wall about the importance of checking my stools for blood since I have diaherria.
they said they heard you say put it in my butt
Lots of alcohol. 3rd graders fuck me now.
Auto correct or actual 3rd graders?
she brought my homemade cookies with condoms taped to the box... im in love
That's because "bed time" is my sex playlist. If you're trying to fall asleep use "nap time"
My mom was looking at curtains for me and sent pictures and I had to be like "not the Disney princess pink and purple, more like an acid trip"
I'm almost positive that you shat in a birdhouse
Wasn't his fault he kicked a hole in the wall, they should have never tried to give him a bath after tequila.
I'm taking ecstasy it's gonna be that kind of Vegas trip
I was totally pumped and so was my beard
Where you at? Come home and endure this shit show called "The Second Presidential Debate".
I feel like I should have held a press conference. The state of my vagina
my gynecologist gave me a high 5 for not getting any STD's since my last visit and said "Way to go Annabeth!" you have twenty seconds to get to my level
Randomize
