Umm. Any where really. Alcohol and boobs. Those are the requirements.
I don't think I have ever puked up that much free breakfast in my life...thank god for Nickle Beers.
Disregard that. She just puked into her boot and started screaming.
Let's just go topless and paint glitter over our nipples who the fuck cares
I just want to do a slip-and-slide into a giant pool of jello shots right now.
I kept petting the scarves and telling customers to "feel that shit"
Stop drinking at work.
The waitress just told me I'm asking alot. So far I've asked for a soul, an angel and carbombs
And before you knew it they were calling me the pussy usher or something like that
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
He's getting off drug court. We're doing a super-blunt with 50 dollars worth stuffed inside. He almost cried tears of joy when we told him.
you know you've had too much sex when your vagina hurts when you laugh
Chipotle just hit me... I want to go sit in the corner of the shower and cry until morning.
For the first time in my life, I still have money by the next payday. Who is this responsible person and what have they done with the real me?
So my ex vomited in front of my door and passed out there
THERE ARE NO EMOJIS TO SHOW MY SEXUAL FRUSTRATION
Randomize
