who are you and why are you in my phone as dr. seuss
i want to give my vagina back to god and say no thank you
If they ask for a stool sample we r no longer friends.
you kept searching pizza on facebook and becoming a fan of each page dedicated to it
I'm going to but the new Playboy with Chelsea Handler on the cover. I'm pretty sure it's the only time buying a Playboy will make me gayer...
You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
We sat on the porch laughing about hilarious the sunrise was. And that we can do drugs again in the morning, thank god
She kept crying and asking why I couldn't look more like Dennis quaid.
Do you think making a dress out of an "Open" flag that my friend stole from a bar, and wearing it out sends the wrong message? ....Or exactly the right message?
We shot off some fireworks at 12 and then I orchestrated the group singing of god bless the USA all while wearing a don't tread on me flag as a cape. I repped hard.
if i cared i wouldnt have woken you up by pouring a bottle of soy sauce on you.
is that what this stuff is?
I no longer exist. I have transformed into a puddle of sex.
Also my face is like def lowkey made of silly putty
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