My cock was attacked by outdoor plants
I think I just saw someone hide a body.
He thanked me for being "his little blond pogo stick last night". Good thing?
So many tools at one table, you'd enjoy my italian family
I legitimately sent him a storybook of naked pictures.
Just found out the guy that gave me herpes died. now everytime I get a flare up, it'll be like he's coming back to say hello
I think I'm going to wait until after Halloween to call off the wedding. No need to ruin my favorite holiday.
Need. Hospital. Physically am floating.
I took shrooms last night.. For a good half hour I genuinely believed I was black and being held captive by a leaf. Never again.
She literally just changed his birthday. Overly attached girlfriend has nothing on her.
I just had the best counseling appointment lets fucking rage
It's called hot rabbit the party if he asks the password is "careful" don't ask
Pretty sure my boss knows there's Jack smell coming out of my pores right now... He just gave me a look...
I just remembered something. We made out last night, people cheered.
If a guy makes a dick joke within 24 hrs of matching am I just setting myself up for disaster if I say yes to a date lol
Randomize
