Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
I seriously can't date anymore I forgot how to hide my crazy
as veruca salt said, "i want it now!"
uhh im not your indulgent father, stoned and im in the middle of making tacos. right now, tacos win
Im really high right now and the vending machine is broken and giving out free candy. Please kill me, my life will never get better than this
i did make 45 jello shots and that makes me feel more productive then any paper would
Even though he is humpbacked he is really good in bed.
Your "OraGel will numb anything" theory was the worst thing I ever believed in.
Saw a guy pass out and hit his head on a urinal. Laughing too hard to help him up
hes out at the street wearing a tophat and a monocole and carrying a cane and greeting every car that drives by
he just went across the street and into someones house and we could hear him inviting them over from the front porch
He's a cat fanatic .. That was not in the fine print when we started fucking
Gold rum. Strong marijuana. Jabba the Hut in stilettos. Deep thigh bruise. Yes, thal all happened. Sorry dude.
I can't believe you didn't come out. There was a duckling ON THE BAR!
Come get your pancakes and take a nap in my boobs.
We watched playoff games and fucked so we could both see the TV. I've now found true love.
She abandoned me on the doorstep of her hostel. Turns out you can't bring one night stands into those places. Slept in a train station next to a tramp. He gave me chips. And didn't steal my shit while I slept. So I'm counting this one as a win
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