Its about time the women of america have a president they can masturbate to again
New drink name: the Vermont Douchebag. Take shot of maple syrup, drop into cup of jager, bomb.
she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
Where the hell did all of these gingers come from? It's like they crawled out of their shame-caves for st Patrick's day.
Yeah...don't think he was sober. He kept screaming "I fucking love this game!". It was his Chase app.
Yeah. I don't think I have anything left in me tho. I think I was throwing up tangible memories at one point.
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
The last thing I remember is crying and shaking my head as she was putting salt on my hand. I guess I took the shot
And thanks to you I'm pretty sure I'm banned from every qdoba in south carolina. And cab company
I spent the last 6 months operating under the assumption that I HADNT fucked a paramedic. I was wrong.
The perfect man would keep a whisky sour in my hand and give me endless sex. I really don't think that's too much to ask for.
I have no idea what happened last night, but my pee is neon green.
Dude, never piss off a hungover boss.
Got my client divorced finally. He was even awarded the cat ashes. Yep I went to law school for this.
I was about to break it off with him because I realised he only wanted me for sex, until I realised that I only wanted HIM for sex. Win/win
Randomize
