No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
got weed?
I'm really tired of you accidentally texting me when your doing illegal things. I'm taking away your phone.
sorry mom...
you think it's bad that I have four different guys toothbrushes in my bathroom?
just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
either way he was missing a nipple.
My alcohol tolerance is way too high for this paycheck.
Thanks for last night. Sorry if i was obnoxious. I respect your morals and i wouldn't want you to lose your virginity to a drunk girl in your mom's prius.
I just feel like Im gonna be remembered as that one RA guy that used to sell weed
Mehhh. I just tried to type 'extremely', and it auto corrected to 'creek rot'. IT KNOWS WHAT I LOOK LIKE
Just pee around me
On a Thurs night I found myself drunk in a limo w 9 dudes on my way to a strip club. Once there I was handed $100 in ones and told "spend it." I need a husband. Or Jesus.
I saw a kitty kat get finger blasted on the couch by a Bulls player
FUCK YOU VODKA I'M TRYING TO ADULT RIGHT NOW
Sitting naked in my bed eating leftover Mexican food drinking coors light.. Can it get any more single than this?
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
Randomize
