That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.
So I'm pretty sure when I was giving a Birthday Blow J, he went to grab my boob, but grabbed a fat roll and asked "You're not wearing a bra?"
she was throwing up and singing "I HAD a feeling that tonight was going to be a good good night." And yeah she was still in her dress.
Please talk me out of ordering the stripper pole for a dollar. Please.
My mom just told me to make sure my face isn't on the front cover of the newspaper on 4/21. Challenge accepted
I just had to stop two people giving each other hand jobs in the pool. That was not something I was taught in lifeguard training
I'm sorry for peeing on your door. But it was your decision to open it.
He was having an allergic reaction to that new brand of vodka Eric brought, so he just started chasing with benadryl.. Talk about commitment.
You know what, don't even answer. Just promise me you'll go to the Corner of Shame when you get home.
I saw a spider on my bed and my first reaction was to throw my weed bag to safety
It's not as funny as it sounds. I shit myself at the company Christmas party.
I mean, I'm shallow, narcissistic, and selfish, but I'm an amazing friend sometimes
So I got cockblocked by our relationship status last night
What started out as a one night stand ended in him texting me the next day, saying he thought he was gay.
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
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