Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van
I probably shouldn't have followed up that rainbow sherbet with beef jerky. This is a whole new level of fat, even for me.
Its a good thing the lights were off cuz Im pretty sure the look on my face when I touched his penis would have offended him
This needs to stop. I just vacuumed the wall. Adderall is a double edged sword.
I have no idea what happened after 2 AM. I woke up on my bike, in my bed, with a deep thigh bruise.
I just wrote "where Jason is" on the screen. He guessed "hospital" correctly.
However today I got my lube that might I add was dripping out of the box. I'd like to think my mailman was mixing business with pleasure.
Told the cab driver to take me to narnia last night. Turns out there's a bar called narnia on the south side of town. We are in business
I just found out two girls I dated met each other, bonded over how much they hate me, started dating and are gonna get married soon.
But I got head on a boat yesterday which was sweet until a bald eagle flew over. Then it became life affirming.
Sad realization: so long as I use this sleep apnea machine, I will never be the little spoon!
slept with a 6'5 mountain man from Montana and then he played 'Girls Just Wanna Have Fun' on repeat..
I woke up in a limo in long Island, Ny this morning. Talk about a black out
I told him. He hasn't said anything. Crying and holding cats is probably what is happening.
imagine the bill from school house rock beating the shit outta you
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