is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
Drunk at a girls little league game. Hello summer.
He's drunk and putting on a tie for the jimmy john's delivery guy
i just had to hear from a third party that he came inside of me
no, forget the keg and come see this. prego pants here is dunking chicken nuggets into pudding and crying over a cat show on animal planet.
I pretty much threw up on him while he slept, I had one task today which was to wash the sheets that I threw up on and I turned them pink. I would leave me if I could
Used my phone to vibrate 'eye of the tiger'. It's like Rocky is punching my nuts, but gently.
the bride at the wedding we just crashed said we can stay only if we strip for her. You need to get down here
I'm drinking with a guy who is a bigger asshole than me. We started a contest.
The fun I thought I would be having now when I was six is vastly different from what I am currently doing. Hurraaay sex and vicodin.
So, last night I fell asleep sitting Indian-style on the floor, propped up against the front of the couch with an empty wine bottle in between my legs... How was your night?
I just stole a bunch of balloons from a birthday party and am giving one to each person at the bar.
a guy just skateboarded past my window in a bunny suit while chased by a dog walker
He called my vagina his wife... how is that NOT creepy?!
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