awesome recipe for disaster- bar hopping at the airport
While my grandpa showed the family a slide show he accidentally included a topless photo of his new gf.
She came over with Guinness cupcakes, a case of Mickeys, wearing an Ireland flag & nothing else.
I really need to learn how to handle sexual advances from older women
I wish I had your problem
just saw way to many penises for it being 5 o'clock on a thursday
when you wake up try not to move. we are betting to see if more sprinkles stuck to you or the pong table.
Neither of us have work tomorrow and we live w/n walking distance. This is your official Sandy booty call. Come rock me like a hurricane.
The waitress asked if you wanted white or brown, and you said "Isn't it all the same color when it's toasted?". She stared at you for about 20 seconds before she decided that you weren't fucking with her.
so...the lady doing my pedi totally noticed the human bite marks on my calf. Who says marriage ends your sex life? Love u!
The bottle brush for the bong worked really well to clean the brownies out of the waffle maker.
I wasn't even hungover I was just mourning my dignity
Did we actually play with swords last night or did I dream that?
at this point, i'm only going to therapy to get more free condoms
What the hell do you do when your fuck buddy leaves to go for a piss naked and 20 minutes later hasn't come back and can't be found anywhere in the house or outside but has left his phone, tee shirt and shoes in your bedroom.
I don't think there is a pre defined social etiquette for a lost naked fuck buddy now roaming the streets.
Just peed on the front lawn of the capital building. Great American.
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