i just googled "what is oprah really like?" how do YOU think my night is going?
Seriously though, we're going to drink and watch Survivor first one to puke gets voted off the island
Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back
i woke up naked with 27 half ripped $ bills in my bed from ripping them off the wall of the bar
#1 benefit of having an equality sticker on my car: some girl flashed me while i was driving home
What are you talking about?! I shot gunned a monster while simaltaneously blowing gym boy Todd. If I'm not the poster child for being well rounded and versatile I have no idea what NYU is looking for
let's remember the whole point of NYE: to drink antisocial amounts of antisocial drinks, become incoherent, ruin a carpet, talk to a tree, wake up with head sellotaped to toilet. The where/how is superfluous, my vote goes to a cupboard and a bottle of jaeger Questions?
His best friend's cat died so we had a drunken burial ceremony on the side of his condo at 2am and I'm pretty sure if anyone gets ahold of the video feed from Martini Monday we're all fired.
Valuable lesson learned: if you reach the point where you have to talk yourself in to finishing the last half of your beer, you shouldn't try.
Just had the best random sex ever with a girl I picked up from a pro choice rally uptown. God bless the Democratic National Convention.
At this point i guess a traditional, non-life-threatening pity fuck is too much to ask for
I feel worse lying to the guy I hooked up with than I actually do for cheating on my bf
YOUR STATE IS STUPID
Did you miss a turn again?
WHAT FUCKING IDIOT DECIDED TO DESIGN AN ENTIRE FUCKING STATE WHERE YOU CAN'T MAKE A FUCKING LEFT TURN?!? FUCK NEW JERSEY
How do you feel about a threesome?
Will you be there?
I'm the one asking!
I don’t have enough daddy issues for this shit, make him go away
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