Things on my life to do list: hold a pound of marijuana. Check.
Woke up with a treasure map of my room stuck with sticky tape to my ceiling. followed it and found $75 with a note saying; "eat this if we're invaded"... I'm never getting stoned again
It's not normal to lose a tooth eating a McDouble.
You're so wise. You're like my sexual Grandmother Willow.
She was like the Rudy of blow jobs... SO much effort into it
She sucked my dick while i watched james bond. And they say marriage sucks
Theres a picture of me with cut up clothes rolling in the policeman's lawn, I missed you, summer.
The dingo escaped by eating a hole through my screen door. It's loose in the city somewhere.
It's ok, I like adventure. Just ask my vagina.
Just tell your mom you have to go somewhere half naked with a strange man. She'll understand
I started blowing him in North Dakota, and I finished the job in Minnesota. Oh, the places road head can take you.
Now that it's over, I can finally say it and not feel bad,dude. Her mustache is better than yours.
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
there were rolls with just one bite out of each one leading to the bedroom. you were laying on the bed naked and yelled 'you did it you followed the bread crumbs!'
His dick smelled like strawberries...it was awesome.
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