Already got asked if we're dating
This isn't the rejection hotline, is it?
i told him he had the best dick i've ever seen. then supposedly i kept repeating "peter piper picked the perfect penis"
my affection for youporn is starting to get disturbing... i just thought about sending them a christmas card
I think she just stepped in a piece of mac and cheese, picked it off the bottom of her foot and ate it.
ONE NIGHT STAND. You have 27 minutes before the offer expires, so I suggest you hurry.
I gave ten strangers a full description of his penis and its abilities. I need to stop drinking.
In all honesty of all my sexual conquests, his dick is probably my proudest moment.
he went to find a bathroom and came back 10 minutes later with a fifth of bacardi, a pack of cigarettes, and two funnel cakes. he is a man among boys.
before the moonshine you were already braiding the bouncers beard -_-
Besides he said his dick was as big as a loaf of bread and that it was broken. So I was like u have half a head of hair and a broken dick that looks like bread. No thanks. Im good.
Also, there's a guy walking around the kitchen in a shark onzie, and he just asked if we've ever smoked weed with a shark before. I'm dying
Swimming turned traumatic when grampas shorts slipped off..
Do you remember seeing anyone put a "my other penis is a vagina" bumper sticker on my car?
then he said the sex was mediocre and that it was because of me. and that we could try again tomorrow.
it was 100% mediocre because of him, and we will 100% not be trying again tomorrow.
Randomize
