Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
Trimmed my pubes and broke your paper shredder. Separate events.
i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty.
Next weekend I am getting a library card and staying my whore ass home.
Also, did that cop draw hearts on everyone's hands last night?
haha she has always seemed a little off. when i met her i was told she was the queen slut. and she had a crown on at the time. it seemed appropriate.
I might have beaten my fastest all time record going from "I really really like this girl" to "fuck that bitch"
He never answered about passing his structures test no matter how I asked him. He did send a text saying that he would be "pouring alcohol into his head and balls" so I'm guessing he has to retake the whole class.
We were high as shit. We argued for like ten minutes about going to Dunkin Donuts and then just ended up rolling down hills. Thanks for the weed.
The object of the game was to pour tequila into a sombrero and drink as much as you can before it leaked through, 'Big Papi' won.
Also I owe you 20 bucks, a clean towel and a glass of scotch. I'll even throw in a blow job
You went in the back with her.. And honestly I couldn't tell her neck from her tits man..
Is there a greeting card for "I can't keep being The Other Woman"?
I think I just got drunk texted by my psychiatrist
On a brief change if topic, last night I dreamt I got shit faced with bill Nye the science guy and we went bar to bar and explained the science of alcohol to everyone who'd give us free drinks. We wore bow ties
Randomize
