I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
So Easter dinner for me was at 4:40 this morning where i made Bagel Bites and had a glass of Chardonnay
I imagine anything that isn't a dilldo attached to a jackhammer, powered by a generator won't be amazing enough for you
I may still return these pants. Depends how much they smell like alcohol by tmrw morning. I've already spilled once.
Sorority life is like alcoholic girl scouts, plus douchebags in polos.
Hey so I just want to get straight to the point it was me who ate the last cupcake and it was your sister who I fucked last nigt
Hell hath no fury like a woman whose gay sidekick you insult
The rest of the concert I just stared at the lights and didn't really listen to the music cuz I was trying to make sure my brain still worked cuz my face was numb and I couldn't move... Yeah I'm not a weed brownie person
I like to think it's an accomplishment that I can relate my life to a T-pain song
The bartender had to walk me home last night. New high or new low?
You called me last night and said you had a vision that a cat made you a sandwich. You were tripping way too hard
You're best friend just tackled me....naked....brought me to his room where he had freshly baked cinnamon rolls. I didn't know he could cook
You're wearing pigtails and giving away our kitchen appliances. Clearly, you're drunk.
Drunk me just want to text sober me for saving that half rack of ribs I loves you
His ass is a ten, but his personality is a two. Which would average to a six if I didn't have to figure in apologizing to all and sundry. In short hard no. Get a new wingman.
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