I need to just get drunk and eat a pot pie.
i was born a porn star she said
I call biggest shit show at the party. I welcome all challengers.
phil was outside the bar last night, sitting on the ground playing songs on a guitar hero guitar to people walking by for money...best version of free bird ever
By the way, turns out "Danny B" is his penis. Not his cousin. I was right.
is pulling out brownies in the middle of class on 4/20 just too obvious?
yeah we were the ones eating jello shots out of the back of a jeep in the bar parking lot
also, just kill me. literally hit me with a vehicle, or an aircraft, something that will ultimately make me forget tonight.
I gotta figure out which 7 tampons in the box contains the drugs
We have 24 days left before I leave for college and 21 condoms left in the stockpile. Are you up for the challenge?
Half way through sex he whispered in my ear, " your the second best I've ever had" then proceeded to tell me to sit on his face.
When you say shenanigans does that mean I should bring birth control?
Don't stress. That was a joke. I'd trust my pets with no one else. Accidents happen. Sometimes things go smoothly when you help a neighbor out and sometimes you electrocute their fish. Life is funny that way.
So is it your turn now to pretend like dating someone else would stop us from fucking?
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
Randomize
