conclusion of the day: americans need to get on tredmills, people need to learn how to flush toliets and learn how to pee in then instead of on them, and waiters shouldnt tell their life stories to customers.
KATE. I JUST NOTICED THAT LOWERCASE D'S LOOK LIKE SLIPPERS.
She started licking your face, then you turned to me and said "I guess thats my cue", and you proceeded to hook up with her.
Slutty costumes are my most sacred holiday tradition! Wearing a not-slutty costume is like putting cheezwiz on a communion wafer.
I feel like my uterus is decaying in my body
When he goes down on me, he stares me in the eyes like a shark mocking it's prey as it devours it. Plus, his beard smells like dirty gym socks. This has got to end.
Fuck. I have to get my shit together by lunch. Mission impossible.
Got high again and all I want to do is wave this flag around
there is something very satisfying about getting tacos after hours of sex.
Well I didn't get a shacker shirt but I somehow managed to come home with superman socks
he called me 'mate' and i had to remind him that you dont call people mate who continously make your dick hard
Do not take the D yet, he needs to be worth it. Your Vagina is GOLD.
Someone had to wrestle her in the chocolate pool, I'm glad I was man enough to step up and do it
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
Are you rolling a joint while doing homework?
No, I am rolling a joint with my homework.
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