I've been thinking and really it's a miracle I haven't had an STD yet.
funny how all you have to say is "i'm infertile" and boys are stoked on you
if tampons were more like dildos the world would be a better place
If I buy you $300 worth of popeyes, will that make up for me trashing the house?
it will be an insanely irresponsible summer.the only things i plan on not doing are dying and getting pregnant.and even those are negotiable
Next time, showing us his dick should be his entry fee into your house.
while she was riding me, she looked at me and said "this is why mom told me learning how to ride a horse would be important for my future"
I think I'm dead. Why did I think it was a good idea to hang from the banister while someone poured liquor into my mouth?
When are you going to accept the fact he is gay?
Come on... He's just practicing.
Ok. That's acceptable.
She was two things I dont understand: tall and Christian
Should I be scared that after we hooked up she took antibiotics with Sailor Jerry's?!
It might be whiskey, but I view Marge and Homer Simpson as something to strive for
I no longer need a flask. I need a canteen.
Did you get your nipples pierced? I felt something poking through my shirt earlier and I really didn't want to say anything in front of your grandma...
Being forward is somethimes a problems. Like in sexual deity Kong.
I think you’re losing coherence.
I am
Randomize
