after he fucked me and not his girlfriend, i told him to be a gentleman and close his eyes as i ran to the bathroom naked. so sweet.
your definition of "gentleman" is so absurd.
Well, he has like 3 girlfriends but I think I could be polygamist for that dick.
YOU WERE HAVING SEX IN THE SAME BED I WAS SLEEPING IN. AND YOU GRABBED MY HAIR. OF COURSE I'M PISSED.
Well we get the HIV results on my birthday haha. It'll be like happy birthday kid, you have AIDS.
I saw a guy do a line this morning in line to start the 5k, happy thanksgiving!
As if finding out the man you just had sex with is married isn't bad enough, it gets so much more awkward when his wife comes in to comfort you...
just got home to find my brothers naked on the floor covered in chocolate. i am now nervous about sleeping in the same room as them
i just found a red feather stuck to my penis and i really wanted to send you a picture but too much
Drinking hard cider in a room full of freshman girls. Never felt so secure of my manhood
I probably wouldn't
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
how did i manage to wake up with my bra on backwards?
I think my life is a one-way ticket to blackout city.
Punched myself in the face trying to open a bottle of Vicodin one handed. Night is going well.
A total of 3 guys left my apartment this morning. That was my first clue to my black out endeavors last night. Gotta love wine Wednesdays.
My butthole is tingling. Must be the grapefruit juice
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