Seriously, stop being so datable w your movie/song prefs
Can we fast forward to the part where we get gyros
my bedside table was not meant to hold this many beer bottles.
i really should have bought real food rather than condoms, olives, coleslaw and beer...
I'm doing this for my boobs. They miss him.
When hitting a Woodchuck bottle with a machete, glass will fly back and cut your face.
I hope you did not try this.
Gosh I haven't been pantsless in front of anyone for a while. It's time for me to pick up my game. We need a party. I need some rum.
Dude, I had no choice. I was defending my genitals.
We fucked so hard and loud that the everyone at the party downstairs starting chanting his name. Oh I we broke a lamp.
and you fell through a lawn chair
I 100% barfed while bumping the DMX remix of reading rainbow
Have you ever wondered if we are just made up characters in someone's head? You'll have to forgive me right now I think I have 7 thumbs
Shit. My boss is having me meet and greet with the new doc upstairs. Do you think his doctor powers will detect that I'm still high?
AMAZON SELLS SEX SWINGS!
I love how we can bond over the fact that we're the only ones who think the guy I drunk hooked up with looks like Voldemort
Randomize
