I lost of the blow last night. Found it later in my bag labeled Fairy Dust.
the guy that filmed erin andrews naked got 27 months in jail. Every man that's seen it should send him cigs and a nail file baked in a cake. We owe it to him.
he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
I just had one of those moments where i was really sad that i'll never get to be asian.
My phone saved "first signs of pregnancy" as a most visited search.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
we got kicked out of McDonald's because you kept screaming THAT SHIT CRAY at the woman in front of us because she ordered a fish filet.
...that shit cray.
The paramedics came back to shotgun beers with us.
It has been so long since I got any action that I have decided to change my vagina's name from "the chamber of judgement" to "the cave of forgotten dreams".
Then he unzipped his pants and whispers, " oohhh, look out!"
He'll only communicate through snapchat with pictures of him holding his cat or his dick. Bit of Russian roulette opening them in public but I did it anyway.
I called 911 when they kicked me out of the bar last night.
I'm not sure if 14 year old me would be disappointed or proud that I fucked him behind her middle school??
I'm smoking and watching the Muppets Treasure Island. Where are you?
Something about that statement reminds me just how much of a role model you are, sis.
Bro i just made a pipe out of a mechanical pencil and the top to an eye drop bottle. Does that make me some kind of pot god?
Randomize
