In the car with my brother. His CD went from 2pac to Taylor Swift. I'm concerned. It wasn't a mistake, he knows all the words.
My gyno actually laughed when I told her about his penis size.
How come it tastes like onions whenever I go down on her?
Those strippers last night smelled great. It was the perfect mixture of vanilla and daddy issues.
I made out with a deaf person. Also I've been drunk 11 days in a row now.
moving back to school this early was a terrible idea we already used up our bail fund
The judge mental looks i am getting while looking at porn on my phone sitting in the urgent care waiting room is gonna get way worse when they find out im here to see if im pregnant
We watched game of thrones, broke up and I drove away blasting ridin solo while he dougied
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
I'm taking a shower and i'm gonna bring my pocketknife with me
last night I learned that if you try to buy tacos in this town, that you will be stopped by three cop cars with breathalizers
I’m honestly just flattered that you think I could make PornHub’s Top 10.
My new superpower is making fuckboys disappear!
Bending dicks and egos since 2002
All three of the bartenders here have screwed my boss, so he's definitely gay. Unfortunately for you he seems to have a type and you're not it.
How was the tequila? Are you making bad decisions yet?
Randomize
