If she sucks any more cock I swear she will be a spermivore
its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
Hard to imagine a reason apart from blow jobs that I'm awake at 530 am.
he busted in while i was showering looked at me and said "youve lost weight bro, no homo" and started puking into the sink
the creek. my friends left me at a party next thing i know im in a breaststroke relay race with a bunch of randos in the dark
You kept showing everyone at the bar your bra to prove it matched your shoes.
Mostly because I hate my job and a have a photogenic penis.
You yelled to anyone that tried to help you "I have a burrito, what else could a girl want?"
Walk of shaming into my apartment. No one to clap me in. Come home!
looked up people from my old yearbooks. 3 ex boyfriends are gay. im getting drunk now.
So I bought that bathing suit yesterday and got buyers remorse so I returned it today and then stole it. Win win.
I wore Yonce braids out last night and made out with a man and a woman #bowdown is right
Btw, the reason I have a black eye is bc I needed to puke so hard yesterday morning; I whipped up the toilet seat so fast that I railed myself in the face. Then spent the rest of the day more carefully puking. Kind of why I'm not in the mood for drinking.
You were in the girls bathroom yelling at some random chick because you thought she stole all the urinals. That's why you were kicked out.
The whole country is going to hell in a handbasket but I got a grade A fucking and don't particularly care.
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