At Coney Island the sign for the rollercoaster The Cyclone says, "Make sure your glasses and weave are secure."
I sent you an email today but due to work restrictions, I had to misspell choke sex
at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
I hated hipsters before it was mainstream.
There was just way too much discussion about my penis at that party
Dude she gave you head while I was in the closet, we've passed the "awkward" phase.
Well after last night I am convinced he is real life Tyler Durden. He only exists to me and somehow keeps me out of jail this entire time
Dear slutty diary: I lied about feeling guilty of being a homewrecker in order to have more sex. it worked.
He said I could liberate his beef and all I could think about was how I don't eat veal for political reasons.
You went through my pantry and left one of everything in the box. One cracker. One cheesit. One piece of cereal. I really fucking hate you.
Ur wingman ability is causing serious doubt
Ok first off its WAY easier if you are actually here
as a self proclaimed hoe im ok with a lotta things but that is not fucking one of them
I discovered moonshine and fell in love.
I am become drunk, destroyer of all worlds
I mean, it's good for a lot of things. Just not the inside of your vagina
Well neither is bbq sauce but I dont judge kinks
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