do u think i could put an abortion on my debit card?
she said "lets play dickbreaker!" and then threw my blackberry at my dick as hard as she could.
You bet me 100 dollars that the Raiders would win the super bowl this year. I have it on tape.
I swear to God, I just heard my guardian angel tell us to stop. I think we should listen.
It can't be good... The last recollection I have is singing lullabys to his penis
It's a long way off yet but I've started planning my eviction party. Be prepared, it includes jungle juice.
You picked a jagger girl up claimed her then walked out the door with her that was the last we saw of you
when the washing machine is on all the beer bottles jiggle and clink against each other... "drink us drink us drink us"
They're tearing apart the house I lost my virginity in:(
I just used a baby fork as a roach clip. I am totally the cool aunt.
I was mid-sentence and you stopped me and said, "Yeah.. for my vaginas sake, I'm gonna need you to stop talking right now."
You have ruined sex with him for me. Now all I think is "boy scout" and I want to go home
Buying drug test kits off amazon. And qualifying for amazonSmile donation to a kids hospital feels wrong and funny at the same time xD
They stopped fighting to partake in M&Ms and porn.
I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU STUCK YOUR DICK IN CRAZY!
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