Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
He said he's was gunna give me some pain meds. I'm not sure what they are but I just gave him a thumbs up
Desperately trying not to throw up over the side of the ferry back to CT. Can't be the first one of the season.
He sent me a picture of his dick with a cowboy hat on it.
This shit I'm taking feels like I've eaten every burrito in the world and chased that with an aquarium of hot sauce.
Is this girl REALLY making a smoothie in the bathroom right now?
The only thing stopping me from having sex with you in my parents jacuzzi bathtub is the knowledge that they've already had that idea themselves
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
Come get me we have a petting zoo to throw up in.
Unless you can blow me and bake me a pie at the same time, im not impressed.
I'm going to write a horror movie. It's going to be called "Fat People on a Squeaky Bed" and it's going to feature me laying in bed last night listening to my overweight roommate and her fat boyfriend tossing and turning all night
Saw the same Luigi I hooked up with last Halloween. Still in his same Luigi costume and scruff that hurt my face
You're an independent woman who is defined by her own actions and not by whether or not you have a man. You also have great tits.
I wonder how many people saw me whip my junk out and bang it on the light post in front of holabird bar and liquors last night. I'm about tired of having to do that.
Nobody saw you except the people in the bar, because you weren't outside. You were inside, and you were smacking it on the mens bathroom door handle
I really hate whoever invented fireball.
Ya know. I was thinking of my slutty moments the other day and finally know which one makes the number 1 spot.
Randomize
