What are these yellow papers in the kitchen?
These are the tickets we got last night.
Did i sign this one as Grizzly Bear?
Yes...yes you did.
Revelation of the day. Bulimia is dumb. Anorexia is easier.
You suck.
He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
Apparently everytime he put me down to bed I escaped out the window, I faintly recall climbing into the canoe in the back yard, and air paddling.
Just slept with my boyfriend's roomie to learn if bf was cheating on me
Good plan. When in doubt, sleep about.
went from writing my paper to watching obamas speech to crushing beers and singing springsteen in a crowd of 100 within 20 minutes. I love this country
No, the weekend was great. It was the waking up in the pond in the raft without an oar that sucked. That fucking water is cold at 7am.
Oh god I may vomit into the teacup of debauchery.
I found your pet lobster in the bathroom this morning. I went to return it to you but it escaped.
Fulfilled a bucket list goal last night. Borrowed a dollar from a stripper to buy smokes
God bless Atlanta.
I woke up at 4 am. Literally pissed. No idea what happened. I could have fucked a cow.
I woke up this morning fully clothed with a dart in my pocket
Fuck it, i havent messed around in half a year. I have sexual tension with a fire hydrant.
She was sitting on the couch in his tux jacket...no pants, eating cold vegetable lasagna. Yet I'm the weirdo?
We were high and the scary movies were scaring us too bad. Were all watching porn instead now
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