found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
Ambien. No doubt about it.
dude i dont realllllly have to fuck her do i? its just a mess down there and i think im gonna cry
why did your cousin post "out tonight" on facebook? doesn't he know it's only 1 in the afternoon?
shhh don't tell him. it's cloudy out and none of his clocks work
he walkred up to the manager at dennys and said 'look, my friends passed out in your bathroom, can i go get her?'
I caught him trying to shit in her bed. I asked him why he was doing it and he said "because it's wrong."
I'm just saying, margarita tuesday would turn anyone gay.
You know how hard it is to play cool while not drowning and appreciating a pair of butts at the same time?
when i got home she was standing in my front yard not wearing a shirt and halfway crying/ halfway laughing
You have no idea I looked like the porno version of Laura Ingalls Wilder
It could happen. I haven't creeped the rest of the guest list yet.
Just creeped. Everyone is a passable 7. Orgy is a go!
What's protocol when the 18 year old son of an anti-gay preacher sends you a message on Grindr during church?
the worst fight me and my gf ever had was over Guy fieri
NO HE PUT HIS HAND IN HIS PANTS BEFORE HE TOUCHED THE BONG.
ILLEGAL
I love how fuckboys immediately become cultured when I tell them I’m an artist.
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