I just woke up in bed next to my teacher. Does that mean I'm passing now?
There's a dildo in the cheerios box here...
the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
i wish that i had sketchier friends so that it would be easier to get drugs
We've only been driving for two hours and I'm already down 3 vicodin...I'm not going to survive this family vacation.
and i'm pretty sure he drank the lava lamp
josh has a chalupa in his pocket if you're hungry.
using blue streamers we found on the bathroom floor was probably not the best substitute for toilet paper.
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
Thank you for not puking on my lap during the first class of the semester. And fuck you for doing it in the second.
I'm sorry you caught us fucking in your bathroom. If it makes you feel any better when I tried to put my pants back on I dropped them in the toilet.
Well just saw that professor I hooked up with on campus and I look like a dumpster baby
Is it weird that I have your number saved in my phone as baby Jesus?
I guess I'm famous. Hot lesbian was WARNED about me. Still hooked up with her.
I'll pay you to teach me.
Woke up went to work ate beef after three year hiatus shat my pants went to bed
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