So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
Ive either hit rock bottom or become my own hero.
i would hope so, cause i don't think 'i drove off the road because i was getting some head' is covered in insurance
I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
Went to anytime fitness at 3:34 am drunk after the the bar and getting whataburger. Lifted weights with my cheeseburger between my knees. That's called DEDICATION.
I'm still tasting pancake mix. I think this may actually be a serious medical problem...
You made out with my dog and told me he tasted like a rainbow.
WTF DUDE?
Stay calm. I'm sure there's a heterosexual explanation for this
Do you know how hard it is to was the scent of sex from your hair in a gas station bathroom?!
Pro: Drunk Portland Strip Club. Con: Monday morning hangover at work. Pro: boobs. Con: Sleep deprivation. The Pro's are winning.
I would agree. Add some coffee to the booze. It will cut down on sleep deprivation.
KY in my mouth and throat does not a party make.
So unmotivated today.
Who am I kidding. So unmotivated this decade.
I'm bleeding and have questions
I just saw your mom take a body shot off an undergrad, please tell me you're somewhere near by.
Turns out, the guy I'm casually fucking has a girlfriend who's cheating on him with my sister's boyfriends brother who I fucked last year. And my sex life has now come full circle.
Randomize
