You and i never got to the, we dont care what we look like friend-stage. you know? like not brushing your teeth stage.
sorry im really high
I think I gave almost everyone at that party the clap last night
I actually kind of like the booze poos. It's like a colon cleanse. I feel skinnier.
he knocked over the vodka and juice...picks up the cup and says "yes", takes the last sip...doesnt even worry about the mess all over the floor and we continue having sex.
Can I sell my birth control in a yard sale?
Sex on roller skates
Floating mattress
Tie
Pretty sure I just shit out pure stomach acid. I'll explain after you take me to a hospital
You're on Grindr at the STD clinic. I love you.
He's grinding topless with a group of girls to that discovery channel song. May I take a message?
the bride at the wedding we just crashed said we can stay only if we strip for her. You need to get down here
You were walking away to pee and as you were undoing your belt you looked at me and said "the belt is off. the game is on. Remever that."
My 12 o'clock class is an all star team of my ex's hook ups
my whole wardrobe smells like substance abuse
I woke up with jello shots in pant pockets so I must've had fun
I dipped out before he woke up, but I made sure to take the pizza with me.
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