Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
Call meee
Ok, but just to warn you, I'm as drunk as a Kennedy right now...
what are u so afraid of ive smelled ur poop before
She told me I was starting to look like a mermaid with herpes and I needed to stop it.
you're dressed like that and you're on the rag, that's false advertisment
I never thought I'd hear the words "aww you pulled out" and "you're so sweet" in the same sentence.
you were saying "i am the vodka queen!" and then in a different voice replying to yourself "all hail the vodka queen! you are so beautiful!"
I totally accidentally said "we don't go around hammering girls in the rear" in front of 132 5th graders today.
It's gonna be one of those someone is getting divorced parties
Ahh, 151. Think of it this way: it took one shot to get you buzzed, I took eight. I may or may not have broken a tv with my skull that night and met someone's parents naked and hungover the next morning.
Sup man, did you have a 3way this month if so it would be 3 for 3 for the house
How did it feel to just observe all the people blacking out usually you're on the other end of things
I felt like I was at the zoo
I just need a big sign that says no more penis please hanging over my head at all times
Why would you get kicked out?
Well, an overweight man is currently not wearing a shirt. Or pants. And is getting in touch with his inner Chippendale. You can probably fill in the blanks.
That awkward moment when you hear your boss yelling during sex while you're on her couch eating Easy Mac.
Randomize
