Hahahhahaha! Oooh get it! Ugh I am so dead but if I go to the lib whuich I will hopefully b havung sex instead, ill hit u up
come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
I got drunk and applied for two credit cards last night. About to find out if anyone in this world is still dumb enough to give me credit.
What is the pluralization of human? I just got humen rejected, and I am going completely blank...
I learned his name tonight. This now makes him a real person. Obviously, I no longer want to sleep with him.
Ifound a recepit for a hotel room in my sock. soo.. Ithink thats where my dog is.
my nipple ring is gone but someone was nice enough to replace it with a paperclip
I feel that my cleavage set an unattainably high bar for 2013.
Now everytime I sit on a toilet I think about having sex with him. Great.
I was really proud of me too last night! Found a discarded hamburger that I have no memory of at the foot of the bed. Instead of a Dude. I'm really growing as a person
Who loses their virginity to fucking Flo Rida
Afterwards he face timed like four of his friends screaming he banged the hot intern.
God does not give you boobs that amazing to not share them with your friends
He can sense you did cocaine and had park sex with a large ginger from Australia last night.
Randomize
