Draw a picture of yourself puking and peeing on her and give it to her with a note that sys this could be your future if you be my friend
He invited me to see "alison wonderland" WHAT THE FUCK THATS NOT A FIRST NAME/LAST NAME TYPE DEAL
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
Hooking up with one of the deadbeat dads from Teen Mom does not qualify as banging a celebrity.
It's Christmas week. I wouldn't know what to do if i wasn't hung over.
he was holding his dick in one hand and my boob in the other and i looked down and thought, this is my life
Just so everyone's clear, it was already on fire when I got there.
Whatever dude, I don't feel bad about it. If my girlfriend finds out even SHE should give me a high five. That bitch was fine
Apparently we were arguing for captain seats so I shouted "who has your virginity." I got the seat.
The trainer from the tech college told me that I would pass the first aid course so long as I turned up sober. Challenge accepted
There was booze on his face and I wanted it. I'm not sorry.
I'm up in my room and I just saw a naked guy sprint out into the streets from my mom's party downstairs
And I wasn't CONVICTED of a felony, I just committed one
Twist bend and done? Jesus that sounds like a seventh grade hand job.
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
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