would you object to me following you around all the time with a video camera and selling it to TV? Your life could make me millions.
how do you wash the taste of whore out of your mouth?
even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him
The last two calls in my phone are dominos and 911. I'm not sure how my night went.
part of it is the fact that im problem drinking, and the other part is my OCD wont let me leave the bottle half-empty.
CANT TOUCH THIS JUST CAME ON MY IPOD. LOVE STEVE JOBS
like when he blacked out and we found him in the garden eating your tomatoes off the vine
Just stop talking to douche bags. How do you manage to attract every asshole within a 100 mile radius?
If i could answer that i wouldn't be so afraid to move to a more populated area
Im the proud new owner of the campus speed bump sign
After a few mimosas, my mom started sharing her plans to move out of the house and into a retirement village so she can be the youngest one there and find herself a "nice old sugar daddy." Needless to say, break has not started off well...
Right now, millions of people are waking up to get ready for work, start their day, and be productive members of society. I just found a 40 stashed in my fridge. I'm getting daybreak drunk. Zero fucks are given.
Isn't being unemployed beautiful sometimes?
Walking down the street, Bro bumping to 'still' by dre. Dropped his trash on the ground and aggressively sped up when his light turned green. If you still had love for the streets you wouldn't of fucking littered. Took everything for me not to yell at him. I know you would've.
Did I really just send a work email with cum instead of come? feck me
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
Need advice bro. Which one should I take: the blonde devil crying in the corner or the brunette crawling on the floor acting like a dinosaur??
Randomize
