we drove through mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu. We told the workers that were making Super Size Me 2, drove away without paying and told them to bill our producer.
you rearended a car with your bike and then puked all over his back windshield. They made BUI's for you.
The lego bong didn't work. Just made us look stupid
ur roommate just sent me a pic of us fucking. i'm not coming over anymore.
Apparently 'check out this motherfucker' is not an appropriate greeting to use in the vicinity of sitting united states senators. Who knew
They wouldn't let me hang out the sun roof and sing apple bottom jeans in the drive thru of hardee's i think i no longer like these ppl
He's minimum effort, but maximum fuck.
I broke my arm trying to do a hand stand in my shower to wash the hate out of my asshole.
It's not a real holiday until someone pees on you. Did someone pee on you?
Definitely got a blow job in Charles Schwab's bed last night.
I love my job.
When he saw my tits he said "wow you should be proud.
Good dick will make you do a lot of things… Great dick will make you consider buying a house.
It's hard not to feel like a terrible person with bruises on your tits.
its like i just tried to scrub the hangover off of me.
I just remembered how you stole the slinky from me. Bitch, I will NEVER forgive you.
Randomize
