She made the grapes disappear! ALL OF THEM!!!
It saddens me that girls will never know the wonder feeling of pulling your sweaty nutsack off of your leg.
Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
turns out the website for Dick's Sporting goods is not "dicks.com". It was a win either way.
I'm telling people I'm celibate. It sounds cooler when it's by choice.
I'm making celebratory pizza rolls. They're a lot like regular pizza rolls, but without the taste of shame.
I woke up with cheeseburger in my mouth and a deep sense of accomplishment.
I JUST REALIZED HOW SOFT YOUR TABLE IS! and I also just started rolling
i took a picture of my dick. with a stick figure drawn on it. and a paper hat taped to the tip. and i call i the mayor of Dickville
Oh and no more ball pics to my family. Got in a little trouble over that. They have no sense of humor.
also I was promised more toga parties by popular media
I did not pay that kind of money so that It could be hidden. that bra needs to shine in glory so that it can be seen by the world.
Wait wait wait. You are actually taking advice from this lunatic?
This is the girl who got a balloon full of cocaine through security no questions asked. Of course I'm taking her advice.
Valid.
Had a moment of weakness, slept with my ex last night
So that's why our room smells like tequila and shame.
Come by so you can take a pregnancy test with me. It's like my monthly ritual!
Randomize
