Hey I have to teach you how to run in heels before vegas
Is sexting at a funeral morally wrong?
he knocked over the vodka and juice...picks up the cup and says "yes", takes the last sip...doesnt even worry about the mess all over the floor and we continue having sex.
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
I still don't understand how I went from crying to blowing you in like two minutes.
if things do not go as planned you should see me walking down I81 blindfolded and pantless
I drank butter last night, who am I to judge?
i made this one couple from ohio so uncomfortable that they left....and that was WHEN I HAD PANTS ON
Just got offered a dog by two Meth head's one of which wasn't wearing shoes and continually saying "fuck"
That moment when the line ‘If you want a hot body you better work bitch’ in Britney Spears’ new song comes on as you’re using two forks to shovel enchilada into your mouth.
When you're really drunk, Japanese toilets just have an unnecessary amount of buttons.
So do I get to ride the beginning of the November stache or what?
Thinking and hoping ice cream is the answer to my problems
We need a kiddie pool and lots of cornstarch
He just fucked me into paralysis. can't feel my hands or face.
Randomize
