thank god he doesn't hang out with everyone else i've had sex with
well, yeah, he can't fit the whole neighborhood in his apartment
so i was pissing and the phone rang but i forgot i was pissing so i just ran to answer the phone. it was too late when i realized
Just watched porn on a 60 inch plasma screen TV... So that's where the clitoris is
Is today national text-a-girl-whose-had-your-dick-in-her-mouth day and I just wasn't aware?? I am getting the most random "just saying hey" texts ever and that's the only common denominator.
i do some of my deepest thinking on my wednesday morning walks of shame
I just want to curl up with him and brush his hair and sing love songs together, I think you should come over and end this
He used the expression "my couch is your couch" as a come on line.
And really all I wanted was to be like "hey can I borrow your dick for a few hours this weekend?"
Bless her heart. Her stupid, drunk, adderall-ed heart.
That guy was drunk and couldn't get it up so he just tried to scissor me.
How did it feel to just observe all the people blacking out usually you're on the other end of things
I felt like I was at the zoo
I don't trust a bar IN TENNESSEE that doesn't have Jack Daniels.
We were mid fuck, and he did a Kermit the Frog impression. Is it weird that I was strangely turned on?
Do you think the police would frown on me opening a psych drug pharmacy on the side? Just to dispose of my drugs without polluting the water supply! It is for the animals!
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
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