dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
walk of shame with early morning football tailgaters. niice.
can u get pink eye on your cock?
How do you politely bring up someone's criminal record?
how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
She always acts like she's doing me a favor with a hand job. I've been giving myself hand jobs for almost 20 years.
My mom just said we needed to put weed into our earthquake kit.
Hon, I found you crying into a bathrobe in the back of a closet with a broken shoerack.
Figured out why that fly won't leave. It keeps buzzing through my weed smoke
Fly high, Fly.
Being single/not living at home sucks. All I want is someone I can force to pick up my pizza for me so I don't have to talk to anyone.
I'm sorry I never said I wasn't coming home last night. To my defense I did type and send a text, only I was too drunk to realize I sent it to the guy I was with instead of you.
I literally JUST MADE IT to the liquor store. I bought a box of wine with the lights off
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
I would accept a super bowl ring as an engagement ring
Guys I ate pizza off the fucking ground of the cab. I am the worst type of person
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