did I really admit that id have sex with that cougar had I been more drunk?...ugh...i need to masterbate more
I'm shivering and sweating at the same time. Thanks a lot St. Patrick.
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
I can hear my liver begging me not to go out tonight
Too long to explain. Basically I started an electircal fire. No one was hurt except for a box of cereal near the outlet.
I made him hve sex with me in the elevator so that I could put my finger down in never have I ever.
You said "i miss him" not "i miss his dick." You're getting emotionally attatched. Shame.
I'm considering telling her about my dream where I made a sex tape with her boyfriend. you know to test our friendship
i'm sure god appreciates how great my boobs look during this fine christmas eve mass
Remember the couple Steve and I heard and rated their sex based on the bed squeaks cuz we couldn't sleep through the noise? We got them back. They turned up the radio to drown us out.
I also turned off the Anchorman DVD start menu before cause I didn't want Will Ferrel watching me lose my virginity.
Romantically speaking, I want to sit on his face.
Fuckin' raining men in my bedroom while I'm trying to drunk eat a rather large portion of pasta. Like shoo I already picked who I'm sleeping with. Pasta wins.
There's a girl passed out on the sidewalk at the parade. Its not even 10am. She gave candy to children saying it was ketchup. Still think I have a problem?
High. As. Fuck. I thought the kid next to me didn't have an arm for like 2 hours.
Hahahaha I'm glad you woke me up with this text.
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