honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
You're boyfriend is farting in his sleep. The last one sounded like a threat.
Why did you take off so early
No more beer. And also. Threesome. Maybe. Ill let you know.
Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
The only thing i was looking forward to on 4th of july was the google logo and they let me down. That and beer, lots and lots of beer
Well.. considering he unknowingly dated a prostitute, I consider myself the winner in that break up.
it's like doing a sit-up... but, you're inside someone
Rolling one last joint on my Psych textbook before trading it in. I might actually cry.
Bought two parrots for us. I'm keeping them at the Bellagio.
she smells like cat throw up and cupcakes. i'm trying to focus on the cupcakes but it's really. hard.
You know we had a good night last night when today I opened up my Google Translate application and the language is set to Persian and the phrase to translate is "I want you to suck my dick".
They were picking gravel out of my face for an hour. I think I took more out of the road than the road did of me.
Barfights against pavement aren't genrally won by people. Props.
Never thought going to McDonald's alone at 3 AM would end with a blowjob outside some random girl's apartment...
Oh goddamn. That a super downer Tuesday reality right there. Just hit me with the cold, hard, nasty facts.
i'm not too sure if he's up to my expectations looks-wise, but in the penis department he exceeds ALL regulations.
Randomize
