I thought she would fill the void you created. Turns out she thought I just wanted to fill hers.
Booty call?
Dude you don't even follow my twitter
Her parties are sponsored by Valtrex. This might not be your best idea.
Three guys came up to me at the bar and started dancing on me, while screaming "Johnson's girl." That's the last time I sleep with a freshmen.
Bathtub guy came to. He helped me roll the fat chick away from the fridge. Shower and breakfast are on. You're plan failed!
About to be a 4Loko vomit fountain in 45 seconds, what color will it be? Animated birds will fly out of me.
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
I do NOT want to date a man who has no interest in going to a kangaroo farm
downside - we got stuck at the intersection before the santa clause parade started and had to wait for it to end. upside - i got frontrow seats and a blow job to the santa clause parade.
I've had sex near too many of the blankets to let our parents touch them like this
I never thought I could be this turned on by a man wearing racoon tails.
If I stopped drinking I'd have to take up murdering.
Taco Bell is better for you than cocaine, I promise.
Just fell out of the attic onto the garage floor. Okay but might go for an x ray. Smashed one of the kitchen drawers to bits.
Holy Shit Mom
Last night was fun but it wasn't right. I will say that our lives intersected for a brief and intense moment and we will just leave it there.
Randomize
