Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
my goal in life is to wake up with my underwear on
Can someone please explain to me how I got rugburn on my tits?
I'M GETTING MARRIED!
YOU'RE STILL MARRIED!
y-o-u-r-e = you are, y-o-u-r = your. you are a bag of douche not your bag of douche. if you're going to insult me at least do it in proper english. that is all.
By the end of the night i was making legitimate noises not just saying moo.
They went to the hospital to try backflips in the parking lot. Be ready for the call
I was tackling you out of excitement
Yeah thank goodness the stripper pole was there to break my fall.
In less than 24 hrs I went from conversing with Nobel Laureate, to hangover vomiting in front of a drive thru cashier
i have never been so sexually frustrated as I am right now. I feel like dying...is death an option?
I didn't know. I guess I really haven't had that much time for drinking lately. I mean, outside drinking at home/work.
My Midnight Kiss was a Big Mac.. Happy New Year
I was in a penguin suit. Dick out. I am confident in the value of my pic.
It's so Britney 2007, you know?
I’m the skeleton in his closet, but I only come out on Tuesday and Thursday afternoon and when his wife is out of town
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