She was drunk and kept trying to talk while I was in her mouth. It sounded like the teacher from a Charlie Brown cartoon!
You know how I know he's a virgin? He's wearing transition lenses.
if I could go back to kindergarten and not fuck up my life, I so would.
winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
...he tried to burn down someone's house once. ABORT ABORT ABORT
Yea, you were talking about how you did not want to be a reindeer for at least 5 minutes.
I packed spaghetti and rum. But panties? Nah
In my defense, last night's hookup turned out to be my actual girlfriend. That's gotta count for something, right?
Well watching will be involved...it'll just most likely be of me licking your penis instead of me trying to understand how Hans Solo goes up against the Galactic Empire...
2 girls slept in my bed with me. 3 more girls slept on a mattress on my floor. The furthest I got was cuddling. Here's my man card.
Why do you hate her?
She's dating the best penis that has ever entered my vagina.....
he said he was going to fuck me like a rabbit in heat. What he should have said was faster then a train and over before a commercial
I'm trying to behave my vagina this week so I can at least pretend I'm honoring the sanctity of marriage
Seriously, you just banged the guy that wishes his dog happy birthday on fb. That's fucking adorable!
We peed on a building I think...like a building in downtown...not out of view of anyone.
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