I think my penis got bigger when i lost weight
so she bought me lunch gave me a blowie then paid for the gas since I drove... I think there's a catch but I'm gonna run with it
For future reference, the words 'big' and 'problem' should be used sparingly with a person whom you have recently had copious amounts of unprotected sex
just saw someone in just a bathrobe not even tied shut run to the bathroom with a facefull of cum. Someone had a good night
i can't believe i'm giving you sex advice.
i've gotten sex advice under stranger situations. like while giving a blowjob behind the communications building.
does doing it on an automatic sink count as shower sex?
If you're still up for that roadtrip, I managed to end up in Louisiana and could use a ride home.
It all went downhill when I figured out I could launch myself into people with my crutches
I need a costume
Dude just wear a bra or something hahaha
Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room.
I still maintain we were not that drunk......
Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down!
Because I'm sitting in a bath of my own wisdom and drowning my sorrows in coconut rum
On a scale of 1-10, how inappropriate is it to sneak into someone's box of sex toys and put googly eyes on their vibrator?
Fun fact. I just wrapped myself in wrapping paper for a sext. Is this a new high or a new low stay tuned.
We were driving past a farm when he screamed at me to stop the car, then he jumped out and tried to ride a cow.
Judging from the sharpie on my face, glitter on my chest and women's tiger print panties i'm wearing last night was a thing.
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