forget your mom, you can see her anytime. A one night stand only happens ONE night.
It smelt so bad when i tried biting off her underwear that i didn't want to touch with my mouth
you can't get genital warts from dogs can you?
Your fb status are always so intriguing.. Often make me picture you naked
As I climbed in the bathroom window from the room I noticed both him rommates staring and talking about me in the hall...
You'd be proud of me. They tried to give me bread to sober up, but I told them no, im on a diet.
I'm going to replace you with a friend who will be happy when I find a huge penis
just threw up what i'm pretty sure look like contents of a lava lamp
I just made a drink so ill shit. It's goona be great. Ill tell you about it when you get here. Get pumped. For my shit.
Sometimes I'm sad but then I realize that bagels.
He passed out. I tried to set his chest hair on fire.
I need to thank someone for this kid's penis.
Pretty much all i've had today is sugar and orgasms
He lit a shoe on fire and tried putting it out by peeing on it
I'm drunk but I just ate 2 heads of broccoli so does that mean it evens out?
Yes absolutlely
Randomize
