The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
I submitted an essay to my history teacher comparing changes in the middle ages to the song changes by David Bowie. I can't wait to see my grade on that.
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
I just want to go some place where I can have a nice night. Grind on men who speak no English, make out with a girl, and not feel judged.
i'm not sure if i'm mentally prepared for this.. politeness? proper grammar? book reader ? this is a whole new meaning of the species penis for me.
found out that hot proper business chick in my class A) did a bar crawl last 2 night and still showed up to class and B) is 19 and C) so not as proper as I thought D) is single. How the fuck does that work? Freaking superwoman.
Our fuck buddy relationship took a turn for the worst after we were drunk and I punched him in the face when he asked for a three some with my best friend.
I JUST DEFLATED MY BOOB.
I DON'T KNOW WHETHER TO LAUGH OR CALL AN AMBULANCE.
We dropped so many bottles they would only give us plastic cups. We actually drank ourselves back to preschool.
Well, thats the first guy to go to jail because of my vagina
Post that event on your timeline
i just came to a realization. Besides probably food, in my lifetime i think i have spent more money on legal fees than anything else
I talk a lot when I drink rum. he was going down on me and i was telling him how i wished i could tap dance. oh god
i took a magical journey through the park for about two hours. it was amazing and everything was fantastical. i have been informed someone babysat me through that shit.
I just sat on the floor of my shower for 20 minutes to punish myself for drunk me's decisions.
You were trust falling into bushes
Randomize
