I'd fuck her but she fucked Dusty. And I'm pretty sure he's humped livestock
We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
I hope God doesn't listen to everybody on a Saturday night.
On a side note, I now know what a $150 cab ride looks like
I like how washing the beer bong is now a regular part of washing the dishes.
She fucked me because she said I looked like Neil Patrick Harris
I prob couldn't even get his attention if I had a dick growing out of my forehead
I just found our entire wall-to-wall from September 2006 printed out and clipped... it's 49 pages. Blackout me is so considerate of bored-at-work me
So is there some kind of punch card you and I get to use every time we fuck a chick with a cast?
If you ever insult pizza rolls again, I will dragon kick you in the throat
I wonder how many people saw me whip my junk out and bang it on the light post in front of holabird bar and liquors last night. I'm about tired of having to do that.
Nobody saw you except the people in the bar, because you weren't outside. You were inside, and you were smacking it on the mens bathroom door handle
I really hate whoever invented fireball.
This is the fifth time tonight that girl has taken off my pants. Take me home. Now.
We both shit in the same closet in Santa Fe. Nothing is sacred anymore.
I'm stuck on a cliff. I'm not sure how I got here or how to get down. Please send help. And clothes.
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