i am so afraid to go to the bathroom. i am afraid i am going to fall asleep on the toillet.
Special does not even begin to describe that text.
He was telling me how the song fireflies makes him feel like he can talk to animals
just found preset five on the shower head...pretty sure my pussy just had a panic attack
Dude dan is so baked he taped his remote to the futon so he couldn't lose it again. Come over here
just a heads up, there may or may not be a mailbox full of the leftover beer on the table in your basement.
The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"
There're making snowcones with the leftover vodka from last night. This is not the time to be making up excuses!
Let's cut to the chase. What days are we sleeping together this week?
So he says "my girlfriends coming over so you have to leave but I love you"
Just smoked pot with a guy who has apparently been living in the woods for over a month. He just walked out of the woods. This is not real life.
Just found weed in an empty handle. Who knew Capitan Morgan was also a gardener?
I'll be there in spirit. Right there in your vagina.
I will keep you posted and someday if we daydrink teach you how to do a footjob
Every now and then I'll meet one who is talented in the art of shower gymnast.
That's the 3rd guy I've made pass out from a bj. I may have super powers.
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