It was weird to see you drinking wine out a glass instead of a red cup today
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
Thought it only fitting this Jubilee weekend to snort lines with a 50 note
Your patriotism amazes me, the Queen would be proud!
Actually some of the best sex I've had involved a lot of laughing.
How small IS your cock?
This is America. Thomas Jefferson would have said I want some vagina.
I was like a damn cattle dog, I separated all the sheep, I can wing man for anyone on this campus.
I feel like my body was put in a dryer with rocks set on permanent press.
We found out if you get Ben high but stay sober yourself he is an AWESOME cook. You need to get your ass down here, this goes against everything I know to be real.
I want to fling myself into the sun
Why would you keep yourself in a sharting situation
I feel like I shouldn't be left around 30 year olds when I'm drunk
i woke up with blood and cuts on my face and i don't remember anything after winning four games of beer pong in a row last night. and i'm still drunk.
you are a true champion. bear my children.
I don't think there's a ladylike way to tell this guy I want to sit on his face
Fursuit judi Dench just stared directly at me for 3 solid minutes telling me that cats arent dogs and i believe her because if i dont cat jason derulo might try to have sex with me
we went to the skate park then back to her house for dinner, and somehow that ended with her making me blueberry pancakes at 2am
Randomize
