...i apologize for hitting you up so much tonight im just kinda in a little pickle. im going to sleep in my car near u so pretty plz lmk if you head home...
True but thats because hes a fetus.
Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
why does being broke make me substitute dinner for vodka, Xanax, and two day old cupcakes? I don't like being fat, jittery and drunk.
even my worst enemy doesn't deserve a bush like that
I know we didn't hook up because i was still wearing my fanny pack in the morning
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
You know you have a great job when you need a DD home from work at 6pm.
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
If I don't end up being a booty call for Valentine's Day, you wanna go to the movies?
Ugh did we play golf last night and did you by chance hit my head with a club or a ball?
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
Bringing families together since 1987
She has the perfect pussy. Looks like a paper cut with a puff of cotton candy on top.
I suppose we should both be prepared for the secret service to come visit us after this conversation. Hi NSA.
She did what?
Who. The correct term is she did who.
Did you see him? The correct term is definitely what.
Randomize
