i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
i went to toss her salad and she had a toilet paper clinger on one of the hairs
And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
Woke up with a treasure map of my room stuck with sticky tape to my ceiling. followed it and found $75 with a note saying; "eat this if we're invaded"... I'm never getting stoned again
You stuck your head out the window to puke and got hit with a mailbox.
How can I look at her with a straight face when she has dry puke on her eye lid
I am tired of banking on my penis size to overcome my lack of game.
Im invoking the "no judgements" clause of our friendship.
My god, what have you done?
I wanna snuggle with you as we feed each other chipotle burrito bowls and that's just where I'm at right now
Accomplishment of the day: changing my tampon at 38,000 ft with turbulence. Fasten seatbelt sign was definitely on.
Do you think I can get away with quoting Work Bitch by Britney Spears in my speech?
Your roommates will be treating you to many anecdotes about my intentions to have aggressive sex with you. I'm sorry in advance.
I started carrying sissors in my purse to open plan B with. Both ashamed and proud.
will you help me invent vagina-safe pop rocks?
Randomize
