Dude, way to rack up $80 in pornos in the hotel room last night, and not tell me before I got blindsided at check out.
Heh. Guess I ordered some porno last night. Heh.
it turns out vodka filled condoms arent that funny
New game: Step 1) Turn on ESPN. Step 2) Drink every time someone says "LeBron."
Between the plague n the counterfeit drugs we brought back from mexico I'm not thinking too highly of their country right now. Screw mexican homeless men.
Only catch is you have to sleep in the same bed as me. But no worries, I plan on being in a random guys hotel room every night. So it's essentially yours.
You took it upon yourself to rid the world of them, and by that I mean you dressed up as Batman and started kicking them in the shins.
Blonde girl lying face-down, passed out next to my bed, walls are covered in guacamole. College is looking excellent.
him being a republican bothers me way more than his coke problem.
Whiskey dick has taught us to be smart with our time.
Abby spilt her vodka all over the train's bathroom floor
WE'RE THE ONES DRESSED UP FOR THE LARGEST DRINKING HOLIDAY IN AMERICA WHO ELSE ON THIS TRAIN IS A SUSPECT FOR THIS SMELL?!
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
I just remembered something. We made out last night, people cheered.
Everything isn’t always sunshine & rainbows. Sometimes there’s tequila.
I know I'm drunk but why am I receiving this handjob through the pant leg of my shorts..?
A Valium induced mom decided to walk into my bedroom this morning without knocking. Guess what I was doing? FML
Randomize
