He fucking owes me dinner after I gave him head under the deck behind the bar.
Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
I just changed her number in my phone to "You Wouldn't If You were Sober"
The smartest thing I've heard Obama do is call Kayne West a jackass
I just saw a sign that said "STRIPPERS!!! As seen on Jerry Springer!". As if Springer is the highest honor. I'm pretty sure we're in south Georgia.
Somehow she slept thru the vacuuming, people walking in and out, and the sound of constant beer bottles hitting the trash, but when someone said weed in a regular volume of voice she startled awake.
Something strange is happening to me, I think I miss hooking up with girls sober
why did I try to FaceTime with 311 last night?
Oh, and trying to figure out who wants to do Molly in a frat is like asking damn children if they want puppies and candy. So just bring as much as possible.
when i first looked at you, you weren't wearing any pants. but then i realized you had them around your neck as a cape.
Wow. I feel like a bad friend. My fuckbuddy wished you a happy birthday before I did. The reality of that just hit me.
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
Helped a guy at work today that did nothing but stare at my chest....safe to say the Girls were looking G.O.O.D. today.
You can't just say "I scored us a potential threesome" and then not text me back.
So I came to the conclusion that who ever pour my ever clear out saved my life
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