dude wtf did we explode in my microwave last night?
idk but i think it had a face
you might get a letter about the baby you put in me. i was mad when i sent it.
yeah after seeing those pics of her puking into my underwear drawer i remembered again why i didn't want to invite her.
you didn't check your sock drawer yet did you
you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
So basically our separate showers turned into one shower, to save water, which turned into a bath, which turned into sex on the bed, which turned into drinking beer in the bed, and thats what the stain is from... bud light. sorry.
Highlight of my weekend: having my card suspended due to "suspicious charges" and standing in line at the gas station yelling at customer service on the phone that I really did go to 4 different strip clubs in one night
My Grampa even called her out for being a cock block at the bar...it was that serious
please stop judging me for buying a handle of soco on a thursday at 10am. it was on sale, i'm thinking of my future.
I think the guy in front of me just puked in a styrofoam cup.
There was an ice luge. Lets just leave it at that.
i can't understand anything he's saying. But he spells alcohol right everytime so i deciphered it.
Apparently he took me home and I pulled up my senior pictures on fbook and made him guess what I was thinking during each different pose.
We have a vagina exchange agreement. Neither of us can hook up with any of our own law firm's summer associates. So we have a scout and referral program and invite each other to the other firm's summer events. Criss-cross!! Works every summer.
dude if looks could fuck you two would've been naked in front of everybody
I've just realized that today's rations have consisted of turkey bacon and jack Daniels.
Randomize
