We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
this morning my mom told me to get a new vibrator because mine was too loud last night
i fell asleep watchin iron chef that was the blender she heard. i dont even own a vibrator
how the hell did we fit 12 drunk lesbians in your car?! I felt like we were playing lesbian tetris last night.
The hot Japanese girl in my class just said her "favorite sexy American actor is Nick Cage." That, I can work with.
Peter invited his little brother to smoke with us and he is trying so hard to pretend he's done it before. When he saw the weed he was like "hell yeah!" and everyone got completely silent and just looked at him
my brain is opting to stay half drunk rather than relearn how to think. the rest of me is in no position to argue.
So I'll bring my machete and we can smoke your shit.
Out of context, that is a hilariously scary message.
There's always a silver lining when massive voluptuous tits are involved
This is me trying to take a picture to send to grandma. At 4. We were trying to look sober.
Guess who just hooked up with a guy who was wearing a shirt from his mom's "dress up closet"?!
I wore Yonce braids out last night and made out with a man and a woman #bowdown is right
I was just tongue fucked into oblivion.
My night has consisted of googling cat penises and creating a Tinder profile.
How early is too early to start day drinking? Asking for a friend
About five minutes ago. You’re good now.
Randomize
