if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
So she stayed over last night and slept walked in to my moms room where she used the bathroom and then proceeded to get in bed with my moms naked boyfriend. So yeah, at least now my family got to meet her.
The first sip always goes straight to my vagina.
Stop bringing these fucking whores home with you. If I have to fight over the remote with a bleach blonde idiot wanting to watch the hills reruns one more time I'm pissing in your shampoo.
I just woke up in a puddle of boob sweat. Definitely time to consider a reduction.
We all have a cross to bear. Yours just happens to be attracting gay men.
We need to get her some penis inspired head protection.
I just wanted to let you know I just licked gravy off of my boobs. Just putting that out there.
There was a staple in my grits at waffle house last night. My knees are bruised as hell. And I puked pink all over my bathroom. Gooood night.
But you have work tomorrow. And a whore to pick up. And a dinner to eat. And a vagina to slaughter. Your day is full!
I appreciate the concept of vaginal slaughtering.
I vaguely remember a pregnant lady reaching for my penis. When was I in an elevator?
On my way to get pizza I followed a dog into Salvation Army where I was just hired
I'm pretty sure I imagined the dog... They still hired me
I stared at him for a solid five minutes because he looked like what I imagine god would look like if god was a lumberjack
So I have to masturbate in a hospital. I wonder what kind of porn they have.
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