I just jerked it to the same porn two nights in a row... and she says I have problems with commitment...
May have finally hit rock bottom...bouncer from the strip club informed me I wore the same shirt last night
im pretty sure vibrators are the best invention since dinosaur chicken nuggets
i really wish someone from a royal background would fuck me so i could literally say i was 'royally fucked'.
she was giving me head and that cheryl crow 'youre favorite mistake' song came on. she looks up and all i could do was nod
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
i wrote her a fucking poem. i better get laid for that
did you seriously make the punch out of vodka and food coloring
Dude that bathroom stall was not tall enough to be doing lines in, guys kept peeking over and giving us high fives
let's remember the whole point of NYE: to drink antisocial amounts of antisocial drinks, become incoherent, ruin a carpet, talk to a tree, wake up with head sellotaped to toilet. The where/how is superfluous, my vote goes to a cupboard and a bottle of jaeger Questions?
We just reached that moment of the night when you start making cookie quesadillas. Party on Wayne
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
Does anyone remember last night? Because I still don't know why I now own a goldfish and a ceiling fan made of pizza?
I'm going to come in the middle of the night and attack you with spoons
I just shaved my legs via the sink as to not wake my parents up because I know I'll be having marathon sex tomorrow after my certification exam... so this is life after college.
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