WORST DINGLEBERRY EVER
Ill pay your DUI fine if you just come see me nooooowwwww
no. its 2:30am and im not going to jail for a booty call
i deep throated a ruler to see what my limit was...
girls just need to accept the fact that i'm going to make out with their boyfriends
I'm concerned you might be passed out on a random rooftop right now. Not concerned enough to do anything about it. Hope you're alive. Goodnight.
I tried really hard to get you laid last night. And by that I mean I asked a bunch of dudes if they were top or bottom.
And with me just getting pulled over and you maxing your card out on tennis balls I don't know if we can afford it
I'm not sure which is more depressing, the fact that the hospital is making me put together a living will before surgery, or that all i'll be leaving behind is 25k in student loan debt
ive cried into many a lonely burritos..
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
I don't understand how these people can do extreme gymnastics and I have problems walking up the stairs.
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
I've got enough liquor to do one of two things on Friday: 1.) Drink myself into a coma or 2.) lay in bed a drunk and cry lonely mess. Happy Valentines Day.
Apparently I called him, said "vodka" and then hung up on him.
Did you ever think you lost your bong and then you find it in the weirdest place? I mean, who leaves their bong in the shower?
Randomize
