the 3rd commandment: and god said, if you buy a handle.. you must finish it.
Seeing him suck some chick's face on VH1 wasn't exactly how I imagined the "we should see other people" conversation going.
Brought out my three foot martini glass last night, that explains why I haven't left my bed all day long.
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
I just used 'come play with my balls' as a legitimate booty call attempt. And it worked.
Isn't it statistically impossible for THAT many ugly people to be in one place at one time?
Listen. I'm a changed woman. I have no problem using him for sex.
Just got walked in on while fucking in the lounge in the performing arts building. The janitors gave us five minutes to leave and applauded our exit
I woke up at 4 am. Literally pissed. No idea what happened. I could have fucked a cow.
I emailed the police apartment to apologize to the officer from last night. I practically threw a hissy fit because he wouldn't hug me.
It was "against protocol"
Also, don't forget your plan to die young at a shrooms-fueled orgy.
When a guy invites you to dinner and breakfast the next day it's implied that he's going to make some sweet loving in betwixt correct?
So why exactly are your shoes in my freezer?
so on a scale from morning glass of wine to that time i burnt the garage down how drunk were you last night
About 'lets tie a boat to a truck and ride it down the freeway'
We had an argument over whether or not she had super strength. She settled it by dragging me to the bed room and throwing me on the bed. Then forcefully fucking me. She won the argument.
Randomize
