Dude I just figured out the mystery flavor of airhead is vodka sprite, no way i'm wrong
She just got back from rehab. You dont celebrate that with margaritas.
I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
She came in to my room half naked at 3am asking me if I had seen the movie balls deep 7
Fuck winter. I had to scrape my windshield, shoeless, after the walk of shame so I could go home.
IF SOMEONE ASKS YOU IF YOU WANT THE GOOD DRUGS YOU SAY YES.
Have you seen Dave? He's not on top of the bar anymore but I found his shirt.
So far, my day has been sparkling with the tears of a thousand rainbow unicorns. I'd say this is quality shit you've grown.
there's nothing weirder than waking up to your mom eating breakfast on the couch that you fucked her coworker on last night.
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
Worst luck of my entire life. Came in my own mouth
i think the realest test of our friendship is how hot your sister looks right now
But how MUCH of an emergency? Like, should I go to the ER now, or can it wait until after the bar crawl?
I got dropped off at my house at like 1030. Woke up hugging a street cat I've never seen before. Ended up drinking 260 oz of beer. 65 types. Then went out after blehhhhhh
I was so high I kept trying to flush the toilet with the light switch
Randomize
